Opiniomics

bioinformatics, genomes, biology etc. "I don't mean to sound angry and cynical, but I am, so that's how it comes across"

The car park causation fallacy

There are a lot of old people who live in the same block of flats that I do, and the standard of car parking is terrible – cars are parked across lines, at bad angles and only half in the actual space.  So I concluded that old people are terrible at parking.

Then I thought about it, and I realised that the standard of parking where I work is also incredibly bad.  Same problems – drivers simply cannot seem to get their cars between the two lines that delineate a parking space.  So I concluded that scientists must be bad at parking too.

However…. when I go to the supermarket, the car parking there is also of an incredibly poor standard.  At the supermarket it’s almost as if the lines don’t exist, and cars are parked as if the driver abandoned them in a hurry to get the last loaves of bread.

Then it hit me.  The only thing in common between those three scenarios is me.  Therefore, I conclude from this study that I (@BioMickWatson) am the cause of bad car parking.

More work is needed on this.

7 Comments

  1. We should now try to do a GWAS to associate significant SNPs so we can patent the gene of car parking aptitute

  2. It’s also possible to conclude the the general design of car parks is flawed…

  3. Enter F#!*ing Reviewer #3:

    I believe the focus point of this study shouldn’t be SNPs that cause bad
    car parking but rather SNPs that cause a phenotype that is overly sensitive
    to bad parking.

  4. Call the Daily Mail! This is just the type of rigorously controlled study on carparking they have been waiting for

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