A friend of mine approached me recently and said “I think I might have something magical. Do you want to see it?”.
“Of course!” I said, “what does it do?”
Friend: Hold on, not so fast. Do you promise not to tell anyone about it?
Me: Oh I see! Of course I won’t tell anyone. But why the secrecy?
Friend: Well, to be honest, there’s another person involved and I’m not sure of their intentions. Sometimes they do good things that help me, and sometimes they do bad things that don’t. I’d rather they didn’t know about this
Me: Ah I see. No problem. I can understand your secrecy. I can’t wait to see it. What does it do?
Friend: Well in our hands it’s amazing, it looks like it’ll change the world. But we want to see what you can do with it, what wonderful applications it might have.
Me: That sounds amazing. World changing? Wow. Are you going to tell the public about it?
Friend: Eventually, but not yet. There are too many people who want to use the information against me. They might want to stop us working together, or try to stop us using it.
Me: Oh that sounds awful! I can understand why you’re being so careful.
Friend: So you’ll work with me? I think together we can make a real difference to the world and nothing will ever be the same again!
Me: Of course I’ll work with you! I’m so excited when can we get started? When can I see it?
Friend: Be patient, these things take time and we have to get this right. We need to build up trust, and understand one another. OK?
Me: Yes of course, friend, of course. Just let me know when you’re ready 🙂
In life I think it’s important to understand that your friends might not adhere to predefined behaviors that you think are normal, and to understand that they probably have very good reasons for behaving the way they do. It’s also important to realise who your friends are, support them, and allow them to be who they want to be.